


Standing in the Flames

by B_Radley



Series: The Laughing Beskad [12]
Category: Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: Death Watch (Star Wars), Gen, Inspiration, Memories, Remembrance, new life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 15:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13638912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Radley/pseuds/B_Radley
Summary: As new life begins, a warrior remembers why she fights.





	Standing in the Flames

J’ohlana Wren wakes with the first light of the morning. Her stomach roils as she tries to climb out of the bed. _Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten those last three pickled eggs_. She climbs out of the bed to her feet; allows the room to stop spinning.

She looks down at her husband, sleeping peacefully. She runs her fingers through his gray hair. J’oh smiles tenderly. The smile fades as her stomach lurches. She manages to reach the ‘fresher in the hallway.

 _Or at least the sink_. She realizes that she is still naked as a pair of hands touch her head and caress her back.

She looks up at the small mirror over the sink. Suu Lawquane’s smile greets her. J’oh feels her arms go around her belly, holding her until she steadies.

“Sorry, Suu. I’ll clean it up,” she whispers against the woman’s pink shoulder. She realizes that Suu is clad only in an open dress shirt, hastily grabbed. She looks up and sees the bleary eyes that greet her.

“Nonsense, my dear. The last thing that you’ll want to face is that.” Her smile gentles. “Especially if it is what I think it is.”

“What do you mean?” J’oh asks, her eyes flashing. “I shouldn’t’ve eaten those damned pickled eggs that he made....” She stops at Suu’s look. “What?”

“This happened yesterday as well,” the older woman says. “Plus, those eggs. They had a lot of flavor. Just like that damned half of sour-nerf you ate last night for dinner.”

“Just been hungry a lot. I’ll work it off.”

“Keep telling yourself that, sweetie.”

J’oh feels her expression grow thunderous. “What are you trying to say, Suu? Out with it.”

Suu doesn’t answer. She turns and opens a drawer, pulling out a small package. She reads it, then opens it. She hands the object to J’oh. “Here. Even though Cut shoots blanks, I keep them around and up-to-date.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” the Mando asks.

“Pee on it, sweetie. I’m kinda thinking that King might’ve finally hit the ten-ring with his deece.”

Realization dawns in J’oh’s mind as her heart clinches. _No. Not in this galaxy. I can’t._

 _Not now_. She chokes. _I haven’t finished paying my debts._

~=~=~=~=~=

_J’ohlana watches as the fires consume the small village. Her blaster sits loosely in her hand, unfired. The beskad—the short curved sword that her first forge-teacher had given her rests in its sheathe on her left side. She watches her comrades shooting, slashing, burning, in an orgy of violence. An orgy started by a father’s demand for his daughter._

_A daughter who now lies in the snow, a cauterized lightsaber burn in her chest, courtesy of their leader, Pre Vizla._

_She sees a commotion near the dead girl. A leaping figure, almost a blur. Bonteri’s betrothed, the young Togruta who had watched everything with a keen observer’s blue eyes. A young woman who had refused to look at the ground while serving the Death Watch. J’oh recalls those eyes locking on hers as she ladled stew in her bowl. She had smiled when J’oh had actually thanked her._

_J’ohlana Wren realizes that the young woman has already killed several of her fellows, before she is subdued. She holsters her weapon. She turns and mounts a speederbike, unable to watch or intervene as the young fighter is dragged back to camp._

_As she watches the young woman standing as four decapitated_ kyrt’sade _slowly fall to the ground; standing over them with dual lightsabers glowing, J’oh makes a decision. She turns and heads towards her tent as the others go tearing after the Jedi, the droid, and Bonteri._

_It only takes a few moments to gather her belongings; to steal one of the Gauntlets._

_J’oh’s memory is etched with the young Togruta standing defiantly in the snow, against the backdrop of flames and death._

_Standing for life._

~=~=~=~=~=

The flames of the fireplace bring J’oh away from the past and its ghosts. She looks down at the small object in her hand, its green check mark staring accusingly at her.

She looks over at her husband lying on the bed, sleeping peacefully. The covers have fallen off of him. Her eyes narrow at the part of him that lies dormant against his leg. She briefly looks over at the _beskad_ in its sheath, right next to his Togruta hunting blade.

_Honest, Suu. I don’t know how it got cut off._

She shakes the thoughts from her head. _It does take two._

Her eyes fall on the object on the table. She picks up his old Republic commando’s helmet and looks inside. A picture of her is stuck inside. She smiles at the memory of that shot; she is laughing at something Gregor says. Her smile fades as her eyes fall on the image next to hers.

A younger version of that defiant Togruta, looking up at the Jedi then known as Taliesin Croft. The recorder had caught them as they are both laughing at something.

J’oh remembers him haltingly telling her of his hunt-sister. How they had found each other for a night, both of age, both stumbling towards a new dynamic. Of how she was most likely dead. J’oh drops the test next to the bucket. She walks over and climbs into the bed, pulling herself close to his warmth.

She doesn’t know what this new life growing inside her will be. She is sure that the _ad_ will be loved and will be strong.

He or she might be the only Mando or Corellian around named for a young Togruta, as well as a Jedi master of the same species.

Her eyes close. She does not worry about the galaxy. She only knows that she will follow Ahsoka’s example.

She will stand in the flames, if needed.

_For life._

~=~=~=~=~=

Ahsoka Tano wakes, the dream fading. She blinks as she realizes that she doesn’t stand in flames and snow. She shakes her head. She hadn’t thought of Carlacc in a long time. She realizes that she rests in an alleyway behind a restaurant, along with some of Rodia’s discarded and unwanted. She gets up, stretching her neck and arms. She takes a whiff of herself. _Not too fragrant._

Fulcrum sighs. _At least no more ration paste today_. She closes her eyes, as she thinks of this upcoming meeting. She grits her teeth and easily claims her feet.

 _Guess it is time to go meet my new handler,_ she thinks. As she does, she starts her Remembrance, as her brothers taught her; as she does every morning. Her heart seizes with each name. 

None more than the second name. _Taliesin Croft_.

As she finishes, she starts towards the nearest public ‘fresher. She has no idea what this meeting will bring, but will follow Bail’s wishes for a layer of communication between he and his operative.

She knows what she stands for, no matter what.


End file.
